August 24, 2011

A Little Obessive Are We?

My life is an endless series of notes. Notes to myself, Notes to do, notes to remember, notes of wants versus needs. If I lose these notes, I panic and stress because "things will not go the way I want it to".

I have a fantasy that the entire house, my schedule, my shopping is, you know, Done. Just like those pictures in house and home magazine. Every object in its place, Every colour scheme matching and things that have no "home" are removed or discarded. Every line in place, every book meticulously organised and displayed to attract someones eyes Everything clean and ready to make a good impression. All the ideal amount of food and every box in storage, sorted,  repacked, labeled and ready to sit in another basement for yet another several years.

And so I write notes, to remind me of what I need to get done in so as to live in a perfectly organised environment. Many of said notes are scattered across many books and scraps of paper written and stored in no particular order. The ideas I try to save get harder to look for among hundreds of sheets of paper with crossed out to do lists. I don't even know if I will ever see this note again (clearly I did). Out it comes none the less. Do I really have to focus on making the spare room blue with a sunny day at the beach atmosphere - (Witch is really more of a den where we watch movies or play games and hang out with the rats.) Do I consider ever that the dishes need doing or that the toilet needs cleaning? NO, certainly not with as much focus as to write myself a letter to remind me that the toilet stinks.

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